What Information Should You Share, and What Can Stay Private?

Do you have to tell them everything? No. You share what is needed to get the help you are asking for, and you are allowed to ask why they need the rest.

When you are asking for support, it can feel like you have to prove yourself by sharing every detail. Sharing more is not always better. It can also make you feel worse.

Share what is needed

A useful question to ask is: “What do you need to know for this decision, and why?” If they cannot explain why they need something, you can ask whether you have to give it.

Some things are usually needed, such as how your situation affects your daily life, what help you are asking for and any supporting documents. Other things may not be, such as your whole history or details about other people.

Ask three questions before you hand something over

1. Why do you need it?
2. Who will see it?
3. How will it be stored, and for how long?

You are allowed to ask these. A good organisation will have an answer.

What can stay private

You can usually choose how much personal detail to give. For example, you can describe how something affects you without going into every medical detail. You can ask whether a summary will do. If you are not comfortable, say so, and ask what the options are.

You can ask what they hold about you

In many places you have the right to ask an organisation for the personal information it holds about you, and to ask for mistakes to be corrected. In Australia, the Office of the Australian Information Commissioner explains how privacy rights work. The rules differ by country and by service, so check what applies to you.

Keep your own copy

Before you send documents, keep a copy for yourself. Note what you sent, when and to whom. It is part of keeping a record, and there is a log in the Free Template Library.

If you are asked to share on behalf of someone

If you are supporting someone else, ask for their consent first, and share only what they are happy with. See the Supporter Guide.

The bit that matters most

Your story is yours. You decide how much of it to tell, and to whom. Telling less is not hiding something. It is protecting yourself.